The Wardrobe Mistress
The Wardrobe Mistress has a task both difficult and daring
It's her responsibility to sort out what you're wearing.
So armed to the the teeth, tape clutched in hand,
She flings with great delight, her tape all round those lumpy bits, which you've kept out of sight!
"I'm on a diet!" She'll hear you cry, your face all white and pinched,
"Before the show, I'll lose it all, and not put on an inch!"
But while you're still protesting, with back against the wall, your measurements recorded
"there that didn't hurt at all!"
Nuns don't wear diamante - especially in their ears,
Nor sparkly bright blue eye-shadow, so take it off my dears,
And stilettos in 'The Desert Song' do you think they're quite the thing?
And before you leave the dressing room, kindly remove that bling!
The show is over, a great success, you know it's been alright,
It's off to the aftershow party, always held on the Saturday night;
But before you start to celebrate, just spare a thought or two,
For the Wardrobe Mistress whose job it is, to pick up after you!
The Wardrobe Mistress - yes, her task is difficult and daring,
Her detail must be accurate, her judgement quite unerring.
So remember, when you're in a show, and on that opening night
The one who sorts out your costumes, and makes sure you're dressed alright
Always there - with iron and buttons spare, a veritable treasure
The Wardrobe Mistress, who is worth a price beyond all measure!
By Carol Squire